Is It The End?

It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I'd much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.

- Ernie Harwell

It is very hard to say goodbye to the things that you are starting to love. Like me I am not a writer but I am trying to be one. When our professor told us that we will be having a blog and write our entry every Monday, I was in shock because I am not a writer, I don't know where to get my theme and how can I stay with it for a semester.

When I started doing it I arrived at many ideas regarding my blog theme Memories of The Past. I started to  reminisce all the things I have experience in the past. My first blog is "Clumsy Little Aera" wherein I reminisce all the the clumsiness I had in the past. My second entry is entitled "So Close Yet so Far" It is all about my relationship with my cousins in the past. Third entry is entitled " Memories With my Grandmother" is all about the the memories I had with my grandmother and the thing we are doings when I was still young. fourth is entitled "Its Now or Never" is about my struggles when I was still studying accountancy. Fifth is "The Feeling of Being Lost" is my experiences when I got lost. Sixth is entitled "Oh No I'm The Target!" is about my fears in lizards and cockroaches" Seventh is "The Fragrance of The past" there are smells from the past that is happening over and over again. Eighth is " The Witch in Me" my past experiences when I got fascinated with witchcraft and when I tried doing it. Ninth is " The Sporty Side Of Me" The sports I play  and I used to play when I was a kid. Tenth " Media Literacy Campaign is Love" my experiences last semester when we had a media literacy campaign.


This will be my last blog entry after this semester, I know I am not a good writer so I hope that you will still read my blogs. Thank you and God bless till my next memories to share :)

Media Literacy Campaign is Love

Last semester our professor handed us a job to conduct a media literacy campaign at Sta. Anastacia Elementary School. At first I was so anxious about it, because in the first place I really don't know what to do, I mean what we will going to do next after we finish on planning about it.

The step on conducting the media literacy was not an easy thing to do. The things or the materials we used from the very first day of our campaign to the last are all well planned.

We have 4 weeks to  conduct the campaign. On the first week we tackled Print, we put a puppet show so that the children will be entertained while learning the importance of "Print Media". On the second week we discussed the Radio and what is it on the radio and  it's uses, we ask the students to go outside the class room to play "pass the message". On the third  week we discussed the Television and its importance and the "MTRCB" guidlines on watching TV. On the last day we discussed the new media or the Internet, we asked the children if they have a "facebook" or "twitter" account  and most of them have "facebook" we discussed to the the positive effect of the internet and of course the limitation. On the recognition day of our campaign we let the students play a game where they can apply all the things that they learned from the four weeks about media and the winner of the game came from the class that we are assign to. The last day was the hardest part of doing the campaign, because, somehow we became attached to the kids, we became friends instantly, some add us on facebook.

The campaign was an experience to be treasured forever. For this, even though we are so tired of doing the school stuff when we do the campaign every week we doesn't feel the stress that we are experiencing in school. Every problem we face was easily converted into something every time we do the campaign.

The Sporty Side of Me

Sports is a training ground for the "real world" sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Just like me, at this age I already experienced so many ups and downs in life including academics, sports, and friendships. 

google.com 

Growing up I was really a grade conscious weirdo, in short a perfectionist. But, everything changes when I first introduced to soccer when I was in grade one. I just fell in love with the sport immediately to the extent that I don't want to leave the field anymore. I got addicted to it that I will play soccer with the older guys and become one of the guys instantly. I got to play soccer in our district meet and the coach saw a potential in me and invited me to play for the division meet. At first my mother was against it, but later on she was convinced. I was so happy that I got to play as a goal keeper but my dreams fade a way when the doctor saw a cyst on my neck disallowing me to compete for the upcoming games. I was so disappointed with the doctors findings, also my coaches. We asked for a second opinion with my physician telling us that the cyst is not cancerous and allowed to play soccer again but I will not be playing the position of a goal keeper instead the position of the mid fielder. That was the most memorable moment of my life even though we didn't get the gold medal, we still get one, it was a silver one.

On the next year I was already preparing for the upcoming division meet games when I got seek, I was really ill that time. I've gotten Bronchopneumonia according to the healthonline .com it is the infection causes inflammation in the alveoli (air sacs) in the lungs, causing the alveoli to become filled with fluid. It was the hardest  moment in my life that I have to dealt with. I'm always sick, I was coughing nonstop, I got so many absences in our class, I also gotten peptic ulcer. I was removed from the honors list in our class, I have given up my love for the sport because I am sick. And it was also the year that I celebrated new year while I was using the nebulizer, and I was not allowed to go outside the house. It was the most most painful thing that happened to me. 

Years have passed and I already moved on and forget about soccer and fell in love with another sport. This time it was badminton and a very different story because I am not sick anymore. I am free to do what ever I wanted to do with my life. But, sad to say I've wasted so many opportunities in badminton. During our district meet I was scheduled to play badminton but my classmates told our teachers that I am a former soccer player so I've got to play soccer. I was in third year high school when I said yes to our teacher that I will play basketball in our sports fest then again there are available slops for badminton players I decided to attend the try out and surprisingly I got in. Again My classmates told our teacher that I am already in with the basketball team. 

In life we are always in the midst of facing so many difficulties, just like how athletes deal with their own monster and accept defeat. We ordinary people are like players of our own life wherein every people come and go to destroy us, all we have to do is to accept as if they never did something wrong with us. And just continue our journey with winning and losing. 

The Witch in Me

The Craft was a 1996 movie starring Neve Campbell, Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk and Rachel True. This movie was the first witchcraft movie I have ever watched. The story was all about Bonnie (Neve Campbell) and how she met the three other girls who studied witchcraft for them to have power that is different from the others, and no one didn't know that Bonnie is a natural witch because her mother was a witch, so to make the story short Bonnie is a half witch with a natural ability to call all natural forces like fire, wind, rain, and animals for protection. But the girls were so jealous with her powers, and they tried to kill her, unfortunately they are not successful in doing so.

The Craft movie made me fell in love with the art of witchcraft to the extent that I got addicted to it. I've got to watch videos on youtube, read articles from google, search for the things or materials that witch need to perform her rituals, and most especially know the colors of candles and its meaning.

By searching so many things about witchcraft, I became so fascinated with it, I always buy things or books that has a little touch of being witch on it, I always search for different spells on the web and memorize it after. Last summer vacation I've gone so mad and tried to perform rituals, I got to draw pentagram on our floor, get a brown candle and cast a spell, it turned me to disappointment because it was not successful. Then, I've got to cast another spell wherein I put all my concentration into it I stopped for a moment while casting because I felt that there is something happening behind my back I am hearing some whispering and it made me a little bit nervous, and I feel some sort of happiness because I can already feel success, but, I never finished the rituals because I remembered the consequence of doing it.

The first ever spell that I have tried, unfortunately it didn't worked out :(

Yesterday's Fragrance

Have you ever wonder what does the past smells like? If you do. Would you believe that there are different emotions in each smell of perfume or cologne that we used in the past or even in our daily lives in the present?

“A good fragrance is really a powerful cocktail of memories and emotion.”  ― Jeffrey Stepakoff

                                                                                    courtesy of google.com

Way back in high school my friends and I are addicted to cologne. Every week we always buy cologne for us to have a variety choices on what smell or scent we will be using everyday. Fiona was first cologne we tried, it does smell good especially the strawberry flavor one, it shows sweetness, every time I remember that we used to buy this cologne I can't stop my self from reminiscing the kind of life I had as a freshman high school student. It's kind'a funny co'z I remember how my friendship with my high school friends started. We are just talking about things and we gone talking about cologne.It just happened that we are all fascinated with cologne and perfume. Fiona cologne also represent our being adventurous that one time we arrived late in class because we bought something. 

                                                                                                                           courtesy of google.com

This Bench baby cologne reminds me of my happy moments as a kid who does not worried about everything, not worried of getting a low mark in school. A cologne that reminds me that I once became a happy go lucky child. The smell of this cologne really reminds me of my childhood past. Maybe because babies smells like this (LOL), It felt like I'm becoming a kid once again, a kid who always play with her male cousins acting like one of the guy, asking her father to buy her a "pellet gun", A kid who does not care if she violated the rules of her mother. Every time I smelling something like this cologne from my classmates I'm always telling them that, It really smells like the past.

 Courtesy of gooogle.com

The smell of this water melon cologne reminds me of a sad memories together with the smell of  Aficionado F35 cologne. I felt sad maybe because I used this cologne when I was in fourth year high school where in, it was the stage that we will be leaving high school, we will be leaving our friends, of course, we have to go on our separate ways to prepare ourselves for a better future. After graduating from high school I never bought this kind of cologne anymore to somewhat forget the things we had in high school.

“I miss your fragrance, sometimes I miss it this much that I can clearly smell you in the air.” 
― Qaisar Iqbal Janjua 

Smells of perfume or cologne shown us that in a simple scent we were able to reminisce what we had in the past.

Oh No! I'm the Target!!

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

-Herb Caen

                                                                                     
                                                                                                        courtesy of google.com

Cockroaches are kinds of insects that people shouldn't be afraid of, just like how cockroaches are portrayed in the 1996 movie Joe's Apartment wherein it was shown in such a funny way that it is singing and dancing. I kind'a like this movie because my phobia in cockroach is lessen a bit every time I watch this movie. I don't know when I started to have Katsaridaphobia known as fear of cockroach. One time I was sleeping and when suddenly I felt that there is an object running through my legs, so, I open my eyes and to my horror it was a cockroach. I immediately stand up and find my slippers, but I couldn't find it. I just let the cockroach go and I wasn't able to go back to sleep co'z I am afraid that it might enter my ears or mouth. Every vacation I'm always taking a bath late night, I am always seeing cockroaches on the wall, cockroaches on the ground and sometimes it is flying. Every time that there is cockroach in the bath room I most likely skip taking a bath because I can't kill it and I have this feeling that it was running after me and it will gonna eat. I know that cockroaches can't do such thing as killing a person. But, they've been running after me for a long time that I couldn't sleep nor I couldn't take a bath every time the are cockroaches around I felt like I am their Target!!

The lizard brain will fight (to the death) if it has to, but would rather run away. It likes a vendetta and has no trouble getting angry. -Seth Godin                                                       
                                                                                                                                             courtesy of google.com

                                                                          

Lizards! Lizards! Lizards are just everywhere at night , we can always see them on our ceiling running through after one another. People have this certain hatred when it comes to lizards because it sometimes drop its feces on our head or face and it doesn't smell good. I was four years old when our "kasambay" was feeding me when the lizard drop on my legs and I accidentally thrown the plate on her face. I was so afraid and wasn't able to eat again because of it. It started my phobia on lizards. I was on second year high school and I was cleaning my bed room,  I was trying to fix the arrangement of my things when I moved my bed there was a dead lizard on it and it horrified me and wasn't able sleep on my room for two weeks because I am afraid that it might haunt me on my sleep. My third encounter with lizard was when I was talking to my mother when it drop on my head and I started jumping and shouting. I know that it is kinda funny that I am afraid of such things as lizard and cockroach but for me it was a serious matter I will always try to overcome and live it and I will try my best to make friends of them because it is healthy to have pets around you it can lessen all the stress that I get from studying.  I was their target once and I will always be their target by befriending them. 

The Feeling of Being Lost

“Getting lost is just another way of saying 'going exploring.” 
― Justina Chen, North of Beautiful

Kids are always worried of being left alone by their parents in a place that is not familiar to them. In my case I used to be worried too, whenever they are not around. I was four years old when my tutor and uncle wasn't there to fetch me in school, I was in panic already. I have been asking the school guard if my uncle have arrived or have he seen my tutor. It was the longest wait I've ever experienced in my entire life. I waited for two hours, And I realized that I am just waiting for nothing. They never came, then, luckily I remember that I memorized our land line number and I asked the guard to help me use the pay phone. I called my mom and told her that I'm still in school and nobody ever wonder where am I. I was nearly in tears while talking to my mom because I thought that they already forgotten about me. Thirty minutes later my uncle came and fetch me. As soon as we reach our home he apologizes to me and told me that next time he will never ever forget to fetch me. Fortunately, that incident never happened again.

 Another is when I went outside the class room to look for my tutor and she's not there, I asked other parents if they have seen my tutor, this is the worst thing I ever experience I really cried. I thought that she left me because I am not listening to her every time we had our review lessons. Then she saw me crying and asked me why I am doing outside. I told her that I was looking for her but I haven't seen her. Then she told me that she's just buying cup noodles and her reason pissed me off. I was already in the middle of thinking the best way to go home and then she came back. 

Third was when I was training for ballet class my "Ate Amy" was the one who accompanied me during that they and she left me for food. I was so worried because the ballet school is far from our home and I don't know how to go home if ever she will not return. I was so furious when I got home and told mom that I will never ever go to ballet school if she will not be around during the practices. 

And Lastly, the most horrible experienced I had was when I lost myself during the feast of San Juan. I run after the vendor of the water gun and I found myself in a sari-sari store and they gave food  so I would end up crying then my mother came, with her worried face. I was like laughing and she get mad and told me to never do it again, she even told me that water gun is not for girls.

After loosing myself many times I realized that I can get rid of my fear of being alone by following the will of my mother and not to break her rules. And every time I feel like I'm gonna lose myself in a middle of something, I should  be afraid of asking other people for guidance.  

Its Now or Never

 “know what you want, work to get it, then value it once you have it.” 

― Nora Roberts, Morrigan's Cross 

Ever since I was in grade school I have already set up my goals, that, in College I will take up Political Science, go to law school, work for Public Attorney's Office then put up my own law firm. I guess, not all set goals are always being achieved. Right after my high school graduation, I have realized that I haven't taken any entrance examination yet. I am already in a hurry that time, so, I took an entrance examination at Laguna College and passed it. The next day my mother enrolled me and I took up Accountancy, although it is against my will, I have to accept it because it was the only option I had.

My first semester of taking up Accountancy was fine, I've learned so many things like the basics of accounting, defining the difference among income, expense, assets and liabilities. I enjoyed everything from listing the journal entries in the balance sheets and making long computations to make sure that the value will balance in the end. They have this things with Accountancy students that when you balanced the value you will feel crazy and proud about yourself. It was much more fulfilling when you got everything right during major examinations. We also had subjects like Finance and Marketing that I also enjoyed the most. In Finance my favorite topic was about what is the difference between money and check, if check can be a legal tender like money? And in Marketing was when we were assigned to make our own product and advertised it in front of the class. The product we made that time was cologne it was called "Scent of Love" we mixed other colognes to come up with a new product, we also have to made the packaging, and I think it was the hardest part aside from advertising it, because it is hard to find the right materials to make the packaging presentable and appealing to the eyes of the possible buyers. When we advertised it in front I asked our model to make sure that she will spray the cologne and she did! And the out come was unexpected because some of our classmates says that it smells good. At the end of the first semester we answered the "Kashato Shirts" it is the hardest challenge of all because we have to applied everything we learned and what made it complex was the presence of the business transactions, the official receipt, cash invoice and check. 

Second semester came, It was a semester that I will never ever forget. It was the semester that I gave everything up because of the topic we had in Accounting. Our topic that time was about "Liquidation" I know to myself that I am following the formula to balance the value but still it is not balanced. There comes to a point that I am already crying in front of my mother telling her that it is really hard to force yourself to love the things that doesn't caught your attention in the first place. Still, she doesn't listen to me. The the announcement of the prelim grade, I was so disappointed with my grade and feel ashamed with it because I am afraid that people will judge me because of it. Then little by little I started the right remedy for everything, The announcement for midterm grade came I am happy because my grade increased a little, though, it is still not enough. My professor in Accounting told us in order to increase our grades we need to participate in recitation at I didn't participate, because I am not sure with my answers, but when my classmates answered and my answer was correct it made me realize that I also have to try participating in our discussions. I was awakened and realized that I have to push myself to the limit, and I did and happy of its out come because my grade increased and it made me think twice of the decision that I will make.But in the end I still made a decision that will make me happy. With my one year of stay as an accountancy student I also gained friends who helped me in coping up with things until the end of the semester. I am happy to have them because even though I already transferred to another school they are still there for me, always ready to listen to my nonsense stories hahaha they are still there to call me "Auto delete" and most especially they are there to comfort me whenever I feel so down. I am very thankful for having them, though, when we had a fight they run after me we had a little marathon and I guess it became a tradition already that every time there will be a misunderstanding we will have a marathon run. 

One thing that I have learned from this experience is that don't set your goals and just expect the unexpected because in the long run things happen unexpectedly. What we always have to do is to always accept the challenge of life and always be positive and don't let frustration overshadow us.

“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” 
― Napoleon Hill

Memories with my Grandmother

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory the movie that makes me cry every time I watch it. The movie revolves around Charlie and his grandfather's dream to enter Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. There comes the contest that Wonka created, he decided to put five golden tickets on one of his chocolate bar and the lucky person who will get one golden ticket would be having a chance to enter the chocolate factory. Charlie's father bought him a chocolate bar, unfortunately there is no ticket inside. His grandpa Joe gave him his last money to try again. (this scene made me cry) On the other day Charlie buy another chocolate bar, this time he got it right, many people want buy it for their children but he didn't sold it and he decided to chose his grandpa Joe to take the journey with him inside Wonka's factory. At the end of the story Charlie is about to choose between his family and in becoming Mr. Wonka's heir. He later chose his family and this scene made me cry once again. Like Charlie in the story I will choose my family over my dream, because they are the most important thing in the whole wide world, without them I would be nothing.

In connection to the story my grandmother is like grandpa Joe. She is very caring She took good care of me when my mother was not around. She always sleeps with me every 2 am and I will just woke up with her by my side. We always clean the house together, sit on her chair together, she's always telling me stories about her past, stories about her experiences during her childhood that easily captured my interests. Then when I was four years old I woke up without my grandmother by my side, then, I went to her room trying wake her up but she didn't rise up from her bed and she told me that she can't stand up and she can't move her legs. I was so worried that time because she is the only friend I have and I can't take to see her in a miserable situation. It was the same day that she became bedridden and she have to ride a wheelchair on her entire life.
                                        

From then on our lives changed, we haven't bond anymore because I became busy in doing school stuffs. She's still caring as ever one time when I will be having my field trip she gave me money and I am so touched because it is from her pension and she gave it to me that made me think that she always want what is the best for us, her grandchildren. When I was in grade one my grandmother gave me money for my good performance in class and every time I go to school she always give one peso that was used in the olden times. I was in grade six when my grandma passed away. It was September 9, 2006 when she accidentally fell from her bed and her head was badly hurt I was there and always checking on her. I always ask "Nanay how are you feeling?" "Nanay don't sleep huh?" It's not that I don't want her to take a nap, its just that I'm afraid that we might lose her. Then weeks have passed and she had an alzheimer she doesn't know us already and she's making me sing songs of goodbyes and every time she tells me that she's going out of the country I will immediately go to the bathroom and cry my heart out because it means that she will leave us already. One morning I woke up and everybody's in the living room then my uncle asked me to accompany him to fetch my grandmother's youngest sister, unfortunately she can't go with us. When we came back my grandmother was gone. I feel so sad because I wasn't able to say my goodbye to her. I know that the life journey I had with my grandmother was quite short, but it doesn't mean that I didn't learn something from her. I've learned so many things like I have to work hard for everything to be able to have a better life and learned to value the people who will help me on the process while achieving my goals in life. 

So Close yet So Far

“Cousins are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” - Ed Cunningham

Growing up as an only child is not easy. Not easy in a way that you've got no one to turn to when everything falls apart, you've got no one to share your secrets with, you've got no one to be your playmates when you’re bored, and lastly you've got no one to laugh at when unusual things happened. I could only do the things that I have mentioned when my cousins are around.

Me and my cousins have a very tied relationship when we were younger, we always play together and tell each other stories. Back then, I was very close with my cousins every time they spend their vecation at our house it was already expected that we will be playing different games such as chinese garter, rainbow rack, and hide and seek. I could still remember one time when we played hide and seek my cousin was holding a rake and he run after me and he was telling me that he is “kamatayan” he’s gonna kill me. I was so scared that time because what scared the hell out of me was people who pretend to be a ghost or a monster. I thought that they are real monsters who will get me and bring me to their world. After playing games with them we will have an unplanned picnic. We love to swim nonstop one of the happiest picnic we had was when my cousin brought his girlfriend and his sister told me that the name of the girl was “Lola Maybelyn” so Every time I call her I called her “Lola Maybelyn!” it was so weird that she never gets angry at us and she was teaching me how to swim and she always offer me a piggy back ride. When I was nine was the last time we had an unplanned picnic and that was the most memorable picnic for me because I almost got killed because of drowning thankfully there is my knight and shining armor to save me and it was non other than my mighty cousin. 

At this time my relationship with my cousins is not like before that we are so close, every time we have a small gathering it was like that we are a stranger from each other. We don’t talk to each other more often. Whenever they spend vecation at our house they are the one who will greet me first and I would not greet them back because I became shy when it comes to talking with family members. If I am about to describe our relationship status it was so close yet so far. We are very close in a way that we still sea each other every Holliday but we lack in communication that made us far from one another.

Clumsy Little Aera

Have you ever experienced to become clumsy in your entire life? Of course everybody experience this kind of thing when we are doing something for the very first time.

As for myself I consider clumsiness as my twin sister. I am clumsy in many ways. Clumsy when it comes to remembering the names of the places that I have recently visited, and clumsy in using web pages in the internet.

As far as I could still remember way back in first year high school, when I experienced being clumsy. It was the second day of school and our teacher was asking if we are familiar with the internet and my classmates said yes. As a typical teenage girl who grew up in the barrio, I didn't know about that thing. it is because I used to study in public elementary school where there is no computer units available to use by the students. Since I was just an elementary student that time my mother thought that I don't need computer. She will just buy it if I badly needed it.

So, when my teacher asked if we know the internet, I just go with the answers of my classmates. Then on of my classmate asked me if I have a friendster account. That was the time I was caught off guard. I don't know what to say. At the same day, I learned how to make my own friendster account with the help of my new found friend and with the help of my cousin. I could still remember his facial reaction of my cousin when he was teaching me the basics in using friendster. He was like mad because I'm always asking "Kuya how can I find theme for my account?" "Kuya how can I post photos?" "Kuya what shout I do? It is not loading" I think he was so pissed off with the way I am asking questions every minute. There come our computer class and our topic was the basics of microsoft word. My classmates were already pro in typing words and saving file in microsoft word . I was like lost in the middle of something. I even cried because I don't know what to do anymore. That incident taught me to try things out with patience, and learned that there is no such thing as too late. I may be late in learning those things when it comes to computer but my eagerness to learn made me computer literate person who can do hard tasks such as editing videos, installing application on my laptop and use different web pages responsibly.